Walking The Lands To Face My Biggest Fear
by luvinukagome
Summary: a fourteen year old half-breed girl travels with her elder full demon sister. they hate each other for their differnces but there is a key in their past taking them on this journey to see him...
1. Default Chapter

I looked up at Sheeva; she was only two inches taller then me, I being 5'0. She had a cold look in her eye. The look wasn't unfamiliar…I see it every time I see my own reflection. I opened the door to my small home and turned around holding out my hand for her to shake, " look, we are a team now…nothing more. We may be sisters but its not like we're close or known each other for long and truthfully I don't want to be close to you at all. Got that?" Sheeva looked away, folding her hands over her chest. "That's the plan, then once we get to where we're going we go our separate ways."

I nodded and walked out the door, the cold night air struck me all at once and I shivered a little. The clothes I had chosen to wear weren't exactly the best for the winter. I wore black leather shorts where in the back my long black cats tail was and a black tank top along with my black leather boots that reached up to my knee. I always dressed this way…always prepared to fight with my two daggers that I hid. In my small backpack I carried my black gown. It was pretty…to me at least. It was long and flowing, it felt like air but was warm with its five layers. It looked of the dresses worn by royalty in the times of ancient Greece. But I wouldn't dare wear it till we got to the mansion.

I looked over at Sheeva. As a woman full demon she wore pretty dresses all the time, like all the other woman demons. Her dress had a Victorian look to it. It was golden with faded floral designs on it with a red hem. It was long and hid her bare feet. Her bushy black wolf tail stuck out in the back and her pointy black wolf ears on her head. I looked at her face. she had an unmistakable beauty. Her sky blue eyes shined in the night. Her beautiful long wavy black hair went down her back mid way with a single braid going down the middle. Her face was full and clear. Her lips full, but never smiling much like my own.

I quickly looked away and continued my walking in the shadows as I a half-demon was treated much like the humans if not worse. In these times of the year 2055 A.C demons ruled the lands. They had conquered this world well over fifty years ago. All human men, and woman were forced to hide or be slaughtered. If a human man was found he was to be killed. If a human woman was to be found the demon could do what they wanted with it. Kill it, rape it, make it a slave, torture it, nobody cared. I was treated much like a human woman. The full demons treated me like shit. Id been beat, all of it. They killed my mother years ago, and I never did meet my father. I was now fourteen. The lands were barren. No animals or plants here. The demons had killed them all. Where I had lived was a human settlement. The only other thing besides that around here were the demon checkpoints. Demon lords had set them up. Demons would sit at a checkpoint and in order to get past them you must be a full demon. If not it was like I said.

I met Sheeva three months ago. She was slaughtering the human settlement I lived in. though I do not like humans I hated full demons more for all they've done to me so I fought her. She was and is a equal apponet (sp). We had been fighting for hours before she had me down on the ground with her sword across my throat. That's when we truly took a look at one another. I spit at her feet. But she put her sword back in her sheath. She said, "so you're my filthy half breed of a sister", sarcastically. I looked up at her considering it for a second then stood up. My mother had told me I had a sister…I just never believed her. I let her stay at my house after that. She was going to leave the next day but I received a letter from a anonymous person. It read:

_Dear Ms. Ashley and Ms. Sheeva,_

_I would like to invite you both to my mansion. _

_I'm sure that each of you know why I have invited you to come along and it will be discussed when you arrive._

_Please bring formal gowns and any other things you may need._

_My mansion is located past the barren lands and over the mountains. _

_It will take you an estimated ten days to reach it._

_Please start out for the mansion three months from now when the conditions will be safer._

_I look forward to your stay Ms. Sheeva, and I look forward to your coming Ms. Ashley_

_I wish you a safe journey, _

_The owner of the mansion_

That's was it. Sheeva and I agreed that she would stay till then, then we'd set out together. Now three months later we set out, I walking in the shadows and her in the light, hating each other for our differences…yes that was life...I hate life.

Pride, that's what I had to sell to travel across the world with a halfbreed, and believe it or not, I yes did it for my pack. Going from being one of the leaders to the protecter of a half breed. Boy, I was just moving on up in the world, wasn't I? I wanted to sigh, but I didn't think she was worthy of knowing how much I didn't want to do this. She wasn't worthy of seeing any of my emotions, at all. I took a few steps ahead watching in the corner of my eye as she hid in the shadows like a rat. I kept my head up high, speeding up my pace to a run. Dirt and broken twigs flying out from the ground as I picked up space. Everything around me seemed to freeze like someone had stopped time. No one could keep up with me, well that's the way I saw it.

A new scent arose in the air and I knew what was coming ahead, a demon checkpoint. Panther demon stentch quickly made an angry scowl grow on my face. I wanted to let the half breed know what was coming up, to make sure she didn't screw things up for me. Not that I couldn't take down a pack of panthers on my own, it's just it's better done without blindly rushing forward.

I took a few step forward, stepping out of the shadow. Pearly, white fangs glisting dangerously in the moonlight. Three panther demons loomed straight ahead and I felt my blood lust hit the fan. Soon. So soon, I would see their blood painting an obscure picture of battle against my sword. Soon I would taste their blood in my mouth, and I would smile silently to myself as I slaughtered them.

I hurried up my pace, watching the halfbreed swiftly move in the shadows. One of the panther demons approached me, I could see they were as ready as I was for a fight, and what better timing then now? After all, panther's and wolves have a history of hate against one another. Before I could make a move the halfbreed had thrust her dagger into one of the back standing panther's heart. It fell straight over to the ground making a sick, wet plop. She licked the blood off the dagger, smiling to herself as she did so. If I wasn't quick the little runt would take what was mine kill.

Without further thinking, I with drew my sword and with one single stroke, straight across; the panther layed dead at my feet. Wet droplets of blood splattered onto my face and I dove at the last panther. He didn't move, only stood their struck with awe. As I brought my sword across his neck she had her dagger in his heart. I with drew my sword and put it back in its sheath. She put her daggers up and then got down on her hands and began to drink the dead panther's blood. Blood dripping away in small waterfalls from her mouth. I walked forward, standing out in in front of her, my back to her but my mind was aware of any moves she might try on me. Not that she would, she needed me, and well I needed her to help my pack out. "Are you going to eat?" She asked after a moment. Before it had been a want to eat my kill, but now feasting near her wasn't something I was willing to lower myself to do, so I didn't respond right away. I was more fond of leaving her to wait for an answer. "Cat's don't suit my taste."

"But humans do?"

I didn't turn around, only began to walk off. After a few seconds I heard her following behind, going back into the shadows. "We won't be stopping again." She said firmly. "We will stop when I desire, and if you think otherwise; you can go off on your own and get killed, for all I care."

She stepped out from the shadows, and stopped walking rolling her eyes at my comment. "Well, you just think you rule, don't you? Setting up the rules and everything." Ashley replied, looking at me angrily. I smirked, "That's right, I get to make the rules because I'm not the one living along side a group of humans, waiting in fear and hiding from the dark like some fucking rat." Ashley balled up her fist, her eyes burning with unthinkable fury. "Look you, little ass. I didn't ask you to come into my life and judge me! You think of me as a rat? What the fuck ever. I think of you as a captured tiger. Yes, you look majestic, but in truth you are like a puppet. Strong but not strong enough. Someone else is always stronger then you, controlling you; like humans were to tigers. They were strong, but not as smart."

I kept my smirk on my face, if anything it seemed to grow wider. "Gee, thanks for input, I'll be sure to log that one away." Then, she rolled her eyes, "You're to proud for your own good, ya know. You really need to get over yourself, you're not as big and bad as you think."

"Oh yeah? tell that to someone who wants to listen to your continues rambling because i sure as hell don't."

"Oh now I'm hurt", she said sarcastically as she rolled her eyes at me. "Do you find me annoying Sheeva? Perhaps you just don't care about what I say because…wait…could it be because I'm a, she dramatically stopped, a half-demon?"

I ignored her words after that not bothering to answer her pointless question. I walked on trying not to disgust myself by looking her way.

I wasn't surprised when she didn't answer my question. Her cocky ass was really starting to annoy the shit out of me. I took out my daggers and sensed her muscles tighten. I suppressed a laugh and instead satisfied myself with a smirk. I hadn't cleaned off my daggers well and so I licked the sweet blood off of them savoring the taste, hoping that someone escaped my grasp to tell other full-blooded jack-asses about how a half-breed killed those fools. Wishing that she could of slaughtered a whole town just for fun.

I looked up at the moon. For some odd reason I had always loved the moon. The night itself. Maybe because as a child in the light I lived in fear, and was beaten by mere human children as well as full-grown demons. Maybe because my mother was killed in the day…maybe even because I could cry without being seen in the dark. Either way it was beautiful.

More then three hours went by and I mentally cursed at myself as I felt my eyes begin to droop. I had always thought that needing to sleep when no one else needed to was a sign of weakness so I fought to stay conscious, not wanting Sheeva to think I was week…and also afraid that she might kill me if I couldn't defend myself.

I saw a village up ahead and smelled bear demons…lots of them, perhaps 60 or 70. I also smelled human blood and it was making me sick. I hissed and got my daggers ready as they glinted in the moonlight. I smirked and began to run forgetting that Sheeva was even there until I heard her footsteps not to far behind me. I heard her as she took her sword out of her sheath.

We were up to the village now and the demons had smelled us coming and were prepared to fight. I ran right in loving a good fight…a good kill…a good murder. I stabbed two at a time and moved with such speed you could barley see me. I saw a young child demon and sliced his throat and paused for just a second to lick up the blood on the dagger. It was funny how demons were so much like humans. They did the exact same thing with their children…hid them, and lucky for me I found them. I laughed as I slaughtered them and taking particular pleasure stabbing them in a vital place knowing that they would die but to let them suffer first. While I was doing this I didn't sense the demon coming up behind me. I only realized he was there when I felt his sword go deep in my gut. He took it out satisfied with his work and turned around. I threw my dagger at him hitting him directly in his heart and watched as he fell over. Then I heard a child demon scream, "FATHER!", and blacked out.

When I awoke I was being kicked in the head, thinking it was Sheeva I said, "would you fucking stop", only to be surprised when I opened my eyes it was some of the bear demons. But what really got me was that I was tied to wooden pegs that stuck in the bloody ground…trapped. I couldn't feel my daggers in my shirt where I kept them and new they were gone. It wasn't like they would help. Both my arms and legs were tied tightly and I couldn't move a muscle. I looked around to find most of the town's population slain on the ground. A few humans were tied up on both sides of me looking scared. A child came out from behind the elder demons and pointed to me. She's the one…she's the one who slaughtered most of the younger demons and…my father the head of the pack… I smirked, "if I didn't kill that mother-fucker who would." I had a sudden sharp pain in my gut and realized that the bleeding still hadn't stopped. "Shit", I cursed softly under my breath. There must of been poison that sword because my demon side should of clotted my wound by now.

I couldn't smell Sheeva through all the blood. Then it occurred to me, what if she had left me to die. I wouldn't be surprised.

The child came up to me tears in her eyes, "Why did you kill them? What did any of them do to you?" I looked away from her," look kid I do what I got to do ok?" She looked at me shaking her head angrily. "No you killed those kids and enjoyed it. You smiled and, and…even licked their blood off your dagger."

I felt the humans beside me tense up in fear. God this is getting really old I thought.

"You know something kid? Your dumb. You see these humans tied down beside me? Well I bet you don't think there's anything wrong with that huh? I bet you think that beating them is ok right? Well guess what that makes you a hypocrite." The girl just stared at me not knowing what to think. The older demons were getting restless and one took out a dagger…my dagger! He put it up to my throat; it was now touching my throat. I held back a scream telling myself that I wasn't that weak and to accept it.

All of a sudden a sword cleanly sliced off the demon's head. The sword then sliced the remaining demon's heads off to…accept the child's…the only one left.

I looked up at Sheeva surprised at her. She cut off the ropes binding me to the pegs and I fell to the ground painfully. I grabbed my daggers and cut the humans down before putting them rightfully back in my shirt. They didn't look at me, and I just followed Sheeva into the night rubbing the spots where the rope had cut into my skin and hoping that my blood would clot soon.

When we left the now gone village Sheeva turned to me angrily. "What the hell were you thinking getting caught like that?"

I turned to her and tried to hide the pain in my face, "well its not like I had a choice to get caught", I said not at all sounding like myself. The blood gracefully dripped down my leather shorts off my stomach. The fatigue I had been feeling before the battle came back ten times worse and Sheeva's yelling wasn't helping the pounding in my head. All of a sudden the world began to spin and colors flashed in front of me, Sheeva's face suddenly came into focus then turned fuzzy and for the second time that night everything went black and I could faintly hear someone say my name…then beautiful silence and I thought I was finally dead…finally free.

Someone was calling a girl to come back. Where was the girl? Didn't she hear her? … I wonder who's calling her?

The yelling became louder. This kid better hear her soon.

Suddenly I realized who was calling the girl…Sheeva…and she was calling me. I struggled to open my eyes. They felt like lead.

No my hearing was fading again. Come one ash wake the fuck up, I told myself. Your stronger then this!

A faint little voice in my head disagreed. No your not. Your weak, you wont make it. You're just a half-breed a worthless half-breed, nothing else.

I yelled at the voice telling it, it was wrong and finally my heavy eyes began to flutter, and Sheeva's face came into view right above mine. Her face was slightly paled. Her face determined. I forgot her name for a second…forgot who I was. It was nice, for that one second I could just forget it all. It was ruined by my dammed memory as her name came jumbled out of my mouth.

I noticed the bandages wrapped around my stomach looked up at Sheeva knowing she had done it. I looked down and almost silently mumbled a thank-you. She looked relieved but only for a second. She shot me an evil glare.

"You, half-breed, are as week as I thought she said as she stood up. I told you we were not to stop until I said and look what you go and do. You have delayed us enough for one day I believe, so get up and lets go", she looked at me as if I was expected to just keep going.

I didn't get up, didn't reply, just closed my heavy eye-lid's feeling the blood bleed through my bandage.

When I awoke the sun was just rising and Sheeva sat a couple inches away from me staring at the mountains that were about fifty miles away. I groggily stood up losing my balance when suddenly the scenery around me changed.

I saw myself young around the age of eight. There was fire all around me and wood was falling. I screamed for my mother but I got no reply. I headed deeper and deeper into the fire trying to find her, coughing on all of the smoke that had found a way into my lungs. A stone hit me in the back of the head and I fell down watching as fire started to burn away at my flesh and I quickly put them out, not feeling the pain because of the shock. I couldn't see and bumped into something at my feet. Looking down I saw my mother's body. The stench of burning flesh taking over all my senses as I screamed.

Suddenly a man picked me up off my feet running with such speed and agility it took my breath away. He had ran with me in his arms until we reached the end of the village where the forest began. I sobbed into his nice silk kimono as he held me firmly against his chest, and I heard his heart beating in a steady rhythm, calming me down enough for me to look into my rescuer's eyes.

They were gold and shined brightly into mine…only one thing wrong they showed no emotions matching the rest of his handsome face, his long silver hair framing it only making him looking more like a god. He looked down at me and finally his eyes showed a hidden emotion of concern. He gently placed me on the ground and I felt his eyes penetrating my body as he studied me. Finally he spoke, his voice much like his face. "What is your name", he asked me gently. I stared up into his eyes getting lost in them like I always did the moon before answering.

"My name is Ashley", I stuttered out; the smoke from the fire had really done a number on my throat. He looked at me giving me a quick half smile before letting it fade away into the deep-ness of his face. It was so complex I felt like at any minute I would drown in it, drown in the face that reminded me of the ocean…the salty bitter taste was what you remembered most, but to me he wasn't bitter just misunderstood. I new that he was really just a gentle ocean creature with a bad rep. I saw through his act and admired it. "

Ashley in six years when I feel the time it is safe I shall send you a anonymous letter sending for you and a person you have never met to come to my mansion far over the mountains. We shall be wed when you come. Remember that you are never alone and I will always be watching over you someway or another…

He said such affectionate words with such a lack of emotion…

I watched as he walked off…wishing I could follow…

I remembered only later did I find out that he was the lord of the western lands. That's when I began to wonder the lands, where I learned that in order to survive you had to be tough…when I was young I had thought that I loved this man…now I did not believe in love. It was a waste of emotion. How could love help me survive? All love could do was make me dependent on this man…Sesshoumaru. My strength would weaken and I would die. I was not willing to risk my life for love. It had killed so many; it wouldn't get me…

The world and its strange colors spun around me once again and it so suddenly stopped I thought I was going to fall over. Of course only did I realize I was on someone's back…Sheeva's?

I was thrown carelessly over her shoulder as she ran. I didn't move didn't show her that I was awake, just reflected over my flashback looking at my hands where the burn spots still were. That was why I hated full demons. They killed my mother, and made me wonder the lands to see the horrors they held in them. I was only fourteen yet I felt so much older. It was as if on that day I watched the child I had once known change so rapidly that she was unrecognizable. Sure the looks were the same. I still had my long auburn hair. Still had my hazel eyes that my mother had loved because of the color rings in them telling me they were captured rainbows. But the carefree child was trapped inside this scarred body, only coming out when I let the tears fall freely down my face as she screams to be set free. I feel like a glass rose that fell to the ground and shattered into millions of pieces only to be put back together wrong and different, the young beauty disappearing…disappearing.

Sheeva noticed me moving and stopped.

"Hey do me a favor stay conscious for more then two minutes I'm sick of playing horse got that." The sky had changed to a bright blue, not a cloud in the sky. Yet I felt so cold as the golden rays tried to warm my skin, failing miserably.

We ran not speaking as usual. I was used to the silence by now. I traveled alone and there weren't many people to talk to then so now silence was a music. The winds were all I heard and on those occasions id here the ocean if I walked far enough.

I loved the ocean. Its beauty, its mystery, its solitary-ness…how I wished to fall into the ocean and dissolve into its foamy waves. I felt so tired…so very tired.

The half-breed had been in and out of consciousness for almost a day now. The fool had gone in to battle when we had no need to then got stabbed with a poisoned sword. The fool was a pain. I had seriously thought of leaving her but new that wasn't an option. The lord would be displeased and I wouldn't be surprised if he wouldn't slit my throat after telling him that's o I went back for her for my own sake and my clans.

**An: ok that's where I'm stopping for now. If your wondering yes I am Ashley/Ash and I am 5'5 not 5'0 lol. Though I do have auburn hair and hazel eyes so yeah. And Sheeva is known as Hamona on Sheeva is her nickname from me so yeah. She is helping me out with this. I hope you like it because its my new record! I've got all the way up to nine pages (does happy dance) so ya please review…**

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	2. The Tribe Member, And Momentary Freedom

**Disclaimer: no i dont own inuyasha. it has been brought to my attention by these lawers (points to twenty menicing lawers) that i've been forgetting my disclaimer. so sorry if you thought i had them (sniffles and looks at the ground) im a bad person**

It was our second day and the sun was just beginning to set and luckily the half-breed had not fallen out of conscious since the last time. She had not spoken a word since then and though I was greatly content with the silence, sick of listening to her pointless talk, I couldn't help but wonder what had made her so tranquil. She looked straight ahead but it was as if she was not seeing the path ahead, but in some other lost world of her own. She didn't smile or give any hints to what she was thinking about, but hid all emotion away. She had always seemed angry. Not at anyone particular but the world itself. She acted tough, never afraid of the path ahead. Now it seemed as if I could pull my sword out and put it at her throat and she would just stare at me with those eyes made of tinted glass and hope for death.

I ignored these thoughts after a couple minutes, scolding myself for even bothering myself with any thoughts of the half-breed. She was really beginning to get to me and I shouldn't allow myself to get caught up in such stupid thoughts. Soon this will be over and I will never have to disgust my nose with her stench. Up ahead I smelled a slight aroma of warm water…a hot spring. Evers since the over throwing of humans you were lucky to find anything to bathe in. most of the lands had lost any source of nutrition such as water or food, so finding such a thing was a rare.

I didn't say anything to the half-breed who still seemed oblivious to the world, but started to increase my speed and felt as the wind I was creating with my speed run through my hair and I felt as if it was cutting me off from everyone else in the world. I came to a stop shortly after only to realize the half-breed had also speeded up and was back to normal, her eyes once again filled with hate and I had to admit to myself that I was relieved. Not that I was afraid of her, but I new that if I had to kill her as defense Sessuameru would not be pleased. As we slowed our pace to a walk we saw the hot spring a few steps ahead of us. She didn't smile in relief as I had expected her to but merely stood there as if she was waiting for something. Finally she turned to me, looking at me as if I was a stupid human child, making my blood boil. How dare she disrespect me that filthy half-breed.

"Well…you goanna get in? I mean you think that your so big and bad so I assumed you wanted to get in first. Oh and don't worry I wouldn't want to bathe at the same time as you, I actually like my eyes not burned out, and I really wouldn't want your filth anywhere near me", Ashley said in a slightly amused voice, knowing of my pride.

I didn't glare at her or act like I cared just smiled slightly. "Well then I'm glad we're on the wave link", and watched as she walked away behind a bush and sat down.

I began to undress out of my gown, folding it up neatly and setting it down far away enough from the water so it wouldn't get wet, then began to take off my other under dressings. I dipped my foot into the warm water and sighed as I began to dip my entire body into it letting it wash away all my worries as well as the grime that had accumulated on my body. I undid my single braid, and tied the ribbon it had been put up with around my wrist and went all the way under the comforting water. I sat up after a minute feeling as if the warm watery vapors were making me high and dizzy.

I had the sudden sensation that I was being watched by someone and the hairs up and down my neck stood on end. I looked over at my sword, which was out of my reach and felt frustrated with myself for being naïve enough to leave myself unprotected. I decided to act then and there and stood up in a flash grabbing my sword and turning around wildly looking for the one I felt was still watching me. "Come out coward and fight me, I shall cut your head off as a trophy for spying on me", I called out to the night air.

A move in the night and I saw a familiar person standing in front of me. I felt my face contort with anger as the person standing there looked up and down my figure. I immediately grabbed my clothes and wrapped them around me using them like a towel.

"What in the seven hells do you think your doing Koga", I asked my comrade angrily.

Ashley jumped out of the bushes daggers at hand and in an instant she had them up to Koga's throat ready to slice. Koga's eyes flickered with curiosity as she held them there. "Ashley drop them", I said forcefully. Ashley looked back at me raising her eyebrows in disbelief. "Are you fucking crazy", she asked sounding pissed, "what makes him so special?"

I rolled my eyes at Ashley and began to walk over to where she stood still in the same position. "Because he's part of my clan, and his stupidity will be dealt with by me and not a filthy half-breed such as yourself", I replied coolly. Ashley rolled her eyes at me and walked away back to the bush and sat down. "Would you mind getting dressed Sheeva because your delaying us from going on by talking to your boy-friend or whatever and id actually like to bathe sometime tonight", Ashley said, obviously still pissed about not being able to kill Koga.

I glared at the back of her head and my eyes flashed red when she called Koga my boy friend. I breathed in deeply and glanced over at Koga. He had his eyebrows raised and looked slightly pissed. "Who the fuck does that half-breed think she is", Koga asked glaring at the bush she sat behind. "She doesn't even look that old. She looks about thirteen." I sighed at Koga not feeling like explaining who Ashley was.

I realized that I still stood there holding my dress as a towel and changed the subject quickly. "So Koga what the hell were you doing staring at me as I bathed", I asked him venomously. He didn't look me in the eye but instead stared at his feet, which suddenly became very interesting to him. "Well you see Sheev…the others and I decided after you left that you should have a guard of some sort…I mean you are the leader and a woman so we wouldn't want anything to happen to you", he said nervously. "Oh I see Koga, you and the guys didn't think that I just a woman could take care of myself huh", I spat out at him angrily. "Look Sheeva I was just looking out for you I mean we are a team as a clan and we just didn't want you to…not be able to take care of yourself", he said, his words getting more and more strong as he saw the justice in his actions. I rolled my eyes tiring of all this worthless conversation, and slightly pissed that Koga had interrupted my relaxing bathe, and getting more and more mad by the minute as she thought of what Koga had saw. I looked at him and tried to remain calm but my voice came out in a growl. "Koga do me a favor and stop trying to defend your stupidity, and go and sit next to Ashley and shut the hell up while I put on my clothes…oh and one more thing don't look this time I doubt that the clan voted for you to look at my wet naked body", and with that I turned around listening as Koga walked away.

I watched as Koga walked over towards me glaring at me as if I was some dumb ignorant fuck who had half the brain cells that he did. I mean I wondered if he thought I couldn't hear him talking to Sheeva about me. He sat down a fair way away from me and I saw him look at me in disgust. Finally I was getting annoyed and I turned to him and said, "hey look you ass-hole save your looks for someone else that gives a shit. You are a racist pig and your pissed off because you and I both know that if Sheeva hadn't said anything I would of slit your throat and you wouldn't be able to do a thing, so fuck off you weakling. You disgust me and I'm ashamed to be sharing the same air on this earth with people like you."

He looked at me for a second before he pounded his fist into my stomach causing the air to escape out of my lungs like a popped balloon. I instantly reacted by punching him in the nose, smelling the blood that seeped out of it immediately after. He jumped up after me determined to kill me. I pulled out my dagger and decided that the next best move would be to stab him in the throat when I felt a hand wrap around my throat pulling me out of the air and crashing me down to the hard ground where I landed painfully on my stomach.

I rubbed my stomach thinking of how people just seemed to enjoy hurting it, I mean after a while you would think hurting me in my legs or something would be just as enjoyable as in my stomach but no they just had to aim for it.

I looked up to see Sheeva standing in front of me, I could almost feel her anger coming in waves. She was looking at Koga arms crossed across her chest, and I was noticing how she did this often. Koga looked as if he was ready to pull my heart out through my throat and I just stared at him before spitting at his feet only causing him to look more pissed. I smirked up at him and stood up. "Well if you two will just excuse me I think I'm going to just step into the spring, have fun talking", I said sarcastically pretending to curtsy as I left for the spring at a fast walk.

As I stepped next to the spring, carelessly throwing my clothes into a messy pile, glad to be out of the tight leather. I felt like jumping in but restrained myself from doing it telling myself it was childish. Of course I was still a kid at fourteen but hey. I remembered Koga saying I only looked to be thirteen and scowled. I did not look thirteen, I thought looking at my reflection in the spring. I sighed looking at my slightly chubby cheeks and the few freckles that spread out from my nose and to my cheeks. Though I new I really wasn't ugly I always thought I was. Though I hated Sheeva I new she was beautiful. I wondered why I hadn't inherited the same looks as my older sister. I hated her being older, hated being young. She was seventeen, and I felt like she was so much older by the way she acted. I held my self in a little ball feeling unsure about myself and abilities. I wished I had the confidence of Koga, wished I could hide my feelings as well as Sessuameru, wished I had the beauty of Sheeva, wished I wasn't me, sick of all the feelings that seemed to enjoy spinning out of control. I hoped that I hid all of these dreams away well. I reached for my daggers, and scolded myself for acting so weak, and suddenly realized that Sheeva and Koga were talking.

"Koga go home I don't need your help", Sheeva's voice said. "I don't care I don't plan on leaving you alone with that half-breed she's crazy", Koga's voice came.

I rolled my eyes. Oh yes I was so out of control defending myself, I mean what the hell was I thinking.

"Koga do you really think that mere child could do me any harm", she said sounding tired of all of his talk. "Well…no but still Sheeva why the hell are you even traveling with her", he asked curiosity pouring out of his voice. Sheeva was silent for a minute. "She is my younger half sister and the only reason we are getting any land from Sessuameru. Killing her would have been the demise of our clan Koga." I could almost see her raising her eyebrows up. "and your lucky I got there in time to save you from her for a second time Koga. I am aware she can fight and you are stupid enough to think that fighting her half-ass is goanna cut it. You are well aware that in order to win you must know the power of your opponent and you pretending its not there isn't going to help you", she said with an air of boredom.

I stopped listening not really giving a shit about what else they had to say. It wasn't my fault I could fight good and Koga was a complete idiot. I new there had to be a reason that Sheeva was coming along and it sure as hell wasn't the sisterly love.

I stepped out of the spring quietly and let my skin dry off for a second before putting my clothes back on, the leather sticking uncomfortably to my wet skin.

Why did I need to wait for these guys, I mean they were so busy with their conversation they wouldn't notice if I just slipped off into the night. I didn't need Sheeva, and this Koga guy was pissing me off. I threw on the rest of my clothes and grabbed my bag throwing it over my shoulder. I started to run glad to be away from them and on my own again.

I stood there looking at my stubborn comrade, wishing he'd just shut up so I could get some sleep. I took a deep breath when I realized something. I took a step behind Koga who's back was to the spring and heard nothing. I smelled nothing…she was gone.

Koga who looked confused at my behavior turned to me, "what is it Sheev?" "Dammit", I cursed slightly under my breath. "She's gone, and along with her our new land", I replied slightly exasperated. I new what I'd have to do. Find her… I sighed. Why did everyone but me get to sleep? I turned to Koga and in vain tried to get him to leave. "Koga you are one of the strongest in the clan and I need you to be home to protect them…please Koga", I said, wondering why I had been so nice. Koga looked at me and I new that he wouldn't leave. I was about to turn and start off when I felt him grab my hand. Shocked I turned around to stare at him. "Sheeva you should know ill never leave you un-guarded", he said with a slight smile. He let go of my hand and began to run after her smell, leaving me in my confusion. I quickly recovered and was next to him in a minute.

**AN: hey thanx to my reviewers. I'm sorry I haven't up-dated for so long but I've been grounded for a month and just got off yesterday. So here you go, now to answer reviews! .**

**Hamona: **yep I screwed that lol. I be glad u like everything I write I feel special! I would've up-dated but hey you know why. I think I'm goanna up-date my other stories now that I'm back. So love ya hope you liked this chappie

**Inu4023: **thanks I feel special. I hope this chapter was as good as the last one to you.

**Keynomoe: **I'm glad you liked it to. Sorry to keep you waiting but it was out of my hands, hopefully you didn't give up on the story


	3. the numbing of tears

I was running fast now. My black cat ears perked up on my head, intent on listening for footsteps behind me, and to my dismay I heard them. My heart sunk thinking about how fast wolf demons were, but my feet were fueled by my longing to be alone no matter how slim the chance. Suddenly the footsteps stopped their rapid pace, and the air was filled with the smell of fresh blood and the sound of a surprised yell. The scent was familiar and I knew immediately who it was; Sheeva. A feeling burst through me that I couldn't identify. My heart ached in my chest and felt as if it was being tied in a knot, my stomach felt like someone had just stuck a huge chunk of ice in it. I shook my head, trying to make the feeling go away. The smell was getting stronger even though I was running further away, and suddenly I turned around screaming in my head to stop. I was going to get Sheeva, I couldn't think why, but I knew I had to. As I was halfway to where I was sure Sheeva was a sudden voice filled my head saying angrily, " Did you not here what that filthy wolf said about you?"

"She is my younger half sister and the only reason we are getting any land from Sessuameru. Killing her would have been the demise of our clan Koga."

No I couldn't turn around now I was to close…

"_Koga do you really think that mere child could do me any harm?"_

I'm almost there, cant turn back, can't…

"We won't be stopping again." She said firmly. "We will stop when I desire, and if you think otherwise; you can go off on your own and get killed, for all I care."

But think of what she has done

I noticed the bandages wrapped around my stomach looked up at Sheeva knowing she had done it. I looked down and almost silently mumbled a thank-you. She looked relieved but only for a second. She shot me an evil glare.

Sheeva and Koga suddenly came into view. I ran towards them pulling out my daggers, and checking out the scene. Two rather large demons held Sheeva and Koga. By the looks of it Sheeva had passed out, and blood seeped out over the demons hands like a red waterfall. Koga was struggling and talking to Sheeva as if she could really hear him.

"Come on Sheeva wake up!", his voice was panicked and his usual cocky face was wiped off to be replaced by unmistakable fear. "Sheeva! Sheeva please!", desperate to escape he struggled against the demon's hands. Neither the demons nor Koga noticed me and I slipped into the shadows behind the demons, daggers out. I stuck the dagger into the demon holding Sheeva right in the back. He yelled in pain and turned back, I slashed his stomach. The other demon now helping his comrade, he pulled my hair and swung me onto the dry earth. I landed on all fours gracefully, a cat always lands on her feet. The demon that had held Koga clearly distracted dropped him. Koga had ran over to Sheeva's body, which had also been dropped by the demon that had held her. he was trying to wake her up, shaking her. I left to deal with the two demons, had already killed one, and the other was coming at me twice as hard as before. I looked, saw a part of his chest unprotected and stabbed. He was down and I was hot and sweaty. I looked over at Koga who seemed to zone out from everything but Sheeva, who was still unconscious. The idiot hadn't put on any bandages, he was just shaking her, as if that was goanna work.

I glared at him and walked over swinging my bag off my shoulders, my daggers already away, and pulled out some fresh bandages. She was bleeding badly out of her legs and I wondered what had happened. Before I bandaged her I'd need water to clean her wounds, I thought. I pulled out my drinking water and carefully cut a square of some bandage to use as a cleaning cloth. Pouring the water on it I cleaned it out what seemed to be a really deep gash and quickly wrapped the bandage around her leg tightly to stop the bleeding.

I stood up and was about to head on my journey alone, when I was suddenly forced backwards by Koga. He glared at me angrily and said, "This is all your fault, you filthy half-breed. If you had just stayed where you where none of this would of happened." I looked at him, eyes round with surprise and rage and on instinct, slapped him, and hard. I slapped him and said, "You frickin asshole! If it wasn't for me your precious lover would be dead from loss of blood on account of your stupidity! If you could protect her worth a shit you wouldn't be in this mess! And I didn't ask you to come after me in the first place. You people don't own me, you don't even know me. So don't act like I'm just some pet you can boss around because I'm not", I finished my heartbeat quickened and my emotions rising. Suddenly I felt two fat hot tears at the corners of my eyes. Surprised and not wanting Koga to see, I turned around quickly.

I had a strict rule of not crying in-front of anyone, and hadn't done so since I was a small child, now here I was tears streaming down my face and hiding them from a full demon who despised me. 'I'm pitiful', I thought as a sob raised in my throat, which I swallowed quickly. 'Here I am fourteen years old, and crying in front of jerks like this.' I wasn't even sure why I was crying. Cause I was mad? Cause he accused me? Cause he hated me for my blood? The things I kept telling my self I didn't care about were lies. 'But no I must stop this silly nonsense.' I wiped my eyes quickly and grabbed my backpack trying not to meat the eyes of Koga. Wondering if he knew what had just happened.

The sun was rising over the mountains, and a pinky light swept across the barren land. A sudden warm feeling of sleepiness and I stifled a yawn. I started to walk towards the mountains and blocked out the sounds of Koga picking up Sheeva and following closely behind me. Ignored the silent tears pouring from my eyes, and hidden from Koga behind. It wasn't news how easily broken I was among others, but a feeling of numb-ness had also swept over me with the feeling of sleepiness.

We walked on in silence, with an unspoken agreement to not talk. The sounds of the silence filling my head once again; my music.

**AN: yes I am aware that I just up-dated today a few minutes ago, but I was eager to up-date again to make up for not up-dating forever. Hope ya'll liked it even if it was really short…not much else to say….ok well bye. (waves)**


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